Funny pics and memes and hot ladies

My friend has been trying to get me to help her buy a short machete for awhile now. She wants to carry it while hiking, to defend herself against bears, cougars, chipmunks, meth-heads, samsqaunches, etc. She also wants to keep it next to her bed, in case someone breaks into her house. I keep telling her that some kidnapper/rapist/murderer is just gonna take it and use it against her, or the samsquanch is gonna shove it up her ass.
Titty pics of the friend?